nomadic

This is rambling, nonsense. Some of it is melodramatic, but all of it is pure thought. I'm not in a creative enough mood to put it all together cohesively. This is a good entry to skip, but I feel obligated to update.

Today was a lazy day. I failed to do anything productive. My lame excuse is that I'm half-sick. This is Paul's fault. So, thanks, Paul, for giving me a reason to have a PJs day.

I finished reading Ender's Game late last night. Even if you don't like SF - I don't read much of it myself - you should give this book a chance. Card has an awesome writing style and the characters are intense and the story sucks you in and really makes you think about your own story.

Do you ever feel like you're not you? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I seem to be this other person just watching my body do and say things. I feel like I'm on auto-pilot too often these days.

Speak. Laugh. Nod. Sympathize. Pretend like you give a damn. Smile. Get up. Go. Interact. Come back. Good night. Oh, hello, self. Are you home now? Maybe, I'm not sure. Where have you been? I don't know. Was I gone? Your phone is ringing. Oh. You should answer it. Okay. Don't forget to sound happy.

Sometimes I don't know If I'm acting or if I'm being genuine. Do I really find this funny, or am I laughing because I'm supposed to?

I teared up watching Wall-E, that was genuine. That was one of the best animated films I've ever seen. Relationships are so important.

I need to orient myself. Which way is down?