puzzles and pensieves

What do I say? What can I say? It's been too long since I've poured a little bit of me out into this blog. I wish it could be more like a pensieve from Harry Potter. I wish I could save precious moments so I would never forget a detail and dump out the ones I just don't want to deal with right now.

I spent four days last week staying with a friend in Boca. It was lovely. We went to the ocean every morning. What is a better way to begin each day than having coffee with you best friend and then leaving everything behind as your feet hit the hot sand and the only thing in front of you is vast, blue ocean? I can't imagine anything sweeter.

We also drove to Miami a couple times. A lot of my friends are from Miami. It made me realize what a small town I come from. And not small and adorable place like some New England small town that a teen drama on the WB takes place in. A shitty little town that all the kids talk about getting out out out of.

But now I'm back in Gainesville. Here I feel like we're all on the same playing field. We're all just kids trying to figure ourselves out. I think I learned a lot about myself my first two years here. Now I want to spend the next two piecing it all together. I was going to use a puzzle analogy, but I realized I'll never finish the puzzle, because I keep finding new pieces.

Once, on a family vacation that is so old, it is hazy in my mind, my mother was doing a puzzle. It was one of those crazy puzzles with a gazillion piecies, when she had found the spot for each piece she discovered she was missing a piece from the puzzle. Just one had been left out of the box.

I feel like that puzzle sometimes. Like God sent my box down with a piece missing. Everything is going pretty well, but something's off and it pushes everything just a millimeter out of whack. I hope he's put that piece somewhere down here for me to find.

I miss the ocean.