hopes

I'm trying really hard to keep things that shouldn't matter from getting to me. But I feel like everything is pushing on me. It's suffocating and holding me down and pushing me to fail. I want to be confident in the decisions I've made. I want to be content with what I have, because it's good and more than I ever hoped for. It is more than I ever hoped for, but it isn't everything I hoped for. Because I used to hope for different things, things that don't fit into to what I hope for now. My dead hopes are haunting me. They're being thrown back in my face and making me question why I stopped hoping for them in the first place. But I know what I want, don't I?

Don't I?